Everything is meaningless. That's what the bible says and the older I get, the more I believe it. Some days, I sit here pondering all the things I want to do in my life and all the effort it would take to get there and sometimes I wonder if it would it be worth it in the end. I know. How bleak huh? But then there is that part of me that keeps going for the sake of my family. I want them to have more. I want to do more for my community...to make a positive difference in the lives of others. So is the pursuit pointless? Maybe. But I keep on moving forward because seeing others doing better makes me happy. And that is not meaningless. 

re·sent·ment [ri-zent-muh nt]

-noun

1. the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.
2. indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance.
3. a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will.

According to Louise L. Hay in her book "You Can Heal Your Life", resentment is the #1 cause of cancer and other debilitating dis-eases. This deep resentment is held for a long time until it literally eats away at the body. She explains that this resentment can dissolve, but only once the patient has decided to change their metal patterns that have been created around this resentment. Resentment. It's only a feeling and we control our own feelings. So why is it so hard to forgive sometimes? If someone did something to us and that bad behavior has stopped or the person is no longer in the picture, it is easier (not easy) to let it go and chalk it up to dust in the wind. But how do you handle your feelings when you have someone in your life that consistently hurts you. What if that person is a permanent fixture in your life (i.e. parent, child, sibling, spouse, co-worker, boss, etc.)? How does one go day-by-day or week-by-week without building resentment towards the offender? Here is a {shortened} excerpt of the book with a solution; "Look for a moment at someone in your life who bothers you. Describe 3 things about that person that you don't like, or things you would like them to change. Close your eyes and take a moment to look deeply inside of you and ask "where am I like that?". Then ask yourself if you are willing to change. When you remove these patterns, habits and beliefs from your thinking and behavior, either the other person will change or they will leave your life." There is really only one (ok...maybe a couple) person that I hold a deep resentment for. Anyways, I took the time to look within at how I am like her. At first I was like *arms folded, neck rollin* "I'm not like that %&!@# at all". My mind pushed through and searched for similarities in character and I fought it. I didn't WANT to be like her because she was the target of my resentment. Somehow it was more comforting to hold on to the anger, than to be forgiving and look at her as a vulnerable girl. I kept at it and it started to come clear that although I wasn't like her NOW, I had been exactly like her a decade ago. I remember how insecure I felt. How lonely and scared. Reacting to my feelings in unhealthy ways, not really overly concerned with who I was hurting along the way. I was already ashamed of myself and the person I had become so how could I sympathize with anyone else? "But my situation was different"... isn't it always when it comes to our own lives? The more excuses I made, the more clear it became that as much as I despised the thought of it, she and I weren't too different. To take away the sting, I commended myself for growing as a woman and not being in that selfish place any more. Ok, ok I'll give myself that, but it didn't really matter because my lack of forgiveness was blocking any further growth. I have since forgiven this woman. Do I condone her behavior? HELL NO!! But I understand why she does the things she does. I understand that she hasn't reached a place of settling in her spirit yet. And who am I to block her blessing. As a matter of fact, I have since started praying for her. I'm not saying this is easy. I still cringe every time I even say her name in my mind. Her actions towards me still hurt, and although in my flesh, I want her to hurt just as badly, I instead pray for her to have understanding and for her to grow and mature as a woman. Does it really help her? I don't know, but I do know that MY bitterness is dissolving and in that action, I am placing a "No Vacancy" sign up in my body or any dis-eases that thrive on resentment.
 

 

 

I pretty much follow the rules in life, but sometimes I can be a little less lady-like in my conversation depending on who I'm talking to. I'm not saying that I go buck wild and lose all sense of moral value, but when I feel comfortable to let loose around friends, I do. Like for instance, there are plenty of times when I am venting about relationships or work-related issues with a friend and I will get so riled up that 4-letter words start popping out of my mouth. Now, you know darn well that if I were telling that same story around say...my nana or my pastor, that story would be less emotional and definitely free from profanity. Logically, I know swearing isn't proper and by me being able to refrain from it while talking to certain people shows that it isn't necessary to tell my story, but I still do it.The NIV Bible says this in Ephesians 4:28-30 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So I got to thinking. If you're friend is also a part-time cusser, is it really tearing anyone down? I guess there is an argument there for encouraging each other to practice self-control, but it's difficult to stop a friends emotional tirade and say "hey buddy, I know your pouring out your guts to me, but you should really put a cap on the language." It kinda takes the air out of the sails for the venter. And to be honest, sometimes it just feels good to go off about what's got you so worked up inside. It's very freeing. Now of course, if the cursing becomes violent or ugly or aimed at the listener, I think maybe then, it's a good time to call a time-out. I also believe in respecting the ears of the non-cusser i.e. around children, or in public areas. I wish there were verbal cussing symbols like the one's on a computer keyboard that you could use in real life. Or maybe even a small device you could stick inside your cheek that would either *bleep* out or mute your colorful language when you get to ranting. Or I guess we could all start using NetLingo when we talk live. But somehow speaking ... "WTF!!" or "dubayou tee eff!!" out loud doesn't pack the same punch as saying WHAT THE F^#K!! when talking about an idiot who did you wrong earlier in the day. Oops....did I type that? :/
 

 

 

 

Welcome to the world 2009. I hope we can be friends. I was friendly with 2008, but she was sometimey so although I was a bit sad to see her go, I know you and I could be much better buddies. I know that I will get out of our relationship what I put into it, so I'm letting you know now, that I intend on doing as much as I can with you on a daily basis. All I ask in return is for you to slow down a little and let me enjoy your company. When you see trouble brewing, wave your hands in the air and tell me to run the other way. When you see me about to make a bad decision, stop me in my tracks and tell me to open my eyes. When you see me giving up, put your arm around my shoulder and remind me to ask God for strength. I get that although you are new to the world, you were born with more power than I will ever know. I humbly recognize your wisdom and I hope to learn from it during our short time together. Here's a toast to my new pal 2009!

I entered the StereoFame Artist of the Month contest for October and then never really went back to check out how I did, but on November 24th I got a message from on of the other members, Jillette (J-Pop genre with cool acoustic songs), congratulating me for making the Top 10!! I was like....what the? wow.Wow.WOW!

I didn't end up winning but it still felt super cool to be in the TOP 10 out of all the great artists on StereoFame.

Mayda Del Valle
Def Poetry Jam

 

My new blog is available at allisonsharp.com/blogClick HEREThis MySpace blog is just too user un-friendly. Big meanie!!

Just found out that I was voted into the Top 10 of StereoFame's Artist of the Month contest!! Wooo Hoooo!!

I'm always impressed by products for kids that do more than numb the brain. I recently came across this site called .com. Groovy Girls are a collection of unique plush dolls that can be customized with hip, fashionable changeable clothes. The dolls are a way for young girls to have fun while promoting values and attitudes that are aspirational and age-apropriate. This in itself would be great, but there's MORE!! Whether you buy a doll or not, girls aged 4 - 10+ can go to GroovyGirls.com , create an online doll, dress her up, decorate her room (Mod Pod), go to online parties with other Groovy Girls and much more. On top of that, if you have purchased a doll, you can enter your RSVP code and have access to even more fun online activities with other RSVP members.
RSVP stands for: Respect, Self-expression, Values & Play and the site gears all the activities towards teaching young girls these values and encouraging them to be themselves. In a society where the role models are slim-pickins', this type of environment for girls is very refreshing. Looks like the media is starting to catch on and I hope this will be a top choice for gift giving this year.

The dolls are manufactured at Manhattan Toy Company whose committment is to make safe quality toys that enrich young lives and developing minds. You can buy the dolls directly from them, or at Target, Amazon or another local retailer. Groovy Girls also offers  Groovy Girl accessories, Groovy Girl pets, Troop Groovy Girl (dolls with the "Girl Scout" sash) and ONE Groovy Girl boy doll, named Dylan. ;)
      

I was recently reading another blog post entitled "Never Forget: It's Your Data" by Bruce Houghton that talked about making sure you own your fans data. When someone you previously did not know becomes your "friend" on say...Facebook, or MySpace, YOU don't have any way to get ahold of them if that social network should no longer be available to you. What would happen if your page was hacked and you had to create a new page from scratch? Or what if {social network} decided to cancel your page for {their reason of choice}. Would you have access to your "friends" outside of that particular networking site?

I had this thought about a year ago so I decided that every time a friend request was exchanged between myself and another {MySpace, Facebook, etc.} user, I would always send them a note back thanking them and also including this message... "I'd like to include you in my group of friends outside of {social network}, please reply with your email address if you are ok with that"....and the majority of those people do reply with their personal email address. I have accumulated a large email database from this one simple habit which allows me to keep in touch with my new friends. I hope this tip will not only help indie artists, but also anyone using ANY online site where you have contacts that are important to you. Make sure you always have access to your peeps, no matter what!!

UPDATE: Cool news!! My comment on Hypebot.com got included in a new blog calle "What is Working? - An Indie Label & D.I.Y. Series". CHECK IT OUT!! And many thanks to Bruce for the link back to my site.